The Power of Eye Contact: 5 Benefits You Should Know

Do we see eye to eye?

Eye contact! You used to hear that a lot in third grade. But who says that nowadays?

Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of communication that enhances relationships, builds trust, and infuses a tremendous level of connection into any conversation.

However, ever since the pandemic, proper eye contact has been on the decline particularly with the increasing use of virtual meetings. In this article, we will explore the power of eye contact and its benefits, as well as provide tips for better eye contact in conversations.

Making Eye Contact is just a small part of this. The other half is actually listening to what the other person is saying!

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply”
— Stephen Covey

1. Showing others that you are actually listening

Firstly, the most basic: by making eye contact with the other person, you are showing that you are actually listening to their conversation. Or, on the flip-side, if you are speaking to others, it shows you actually know how to have a conversation. This simple act builds trust and respect, and allows you to truly connect with your audience.

2. Slow down time

Next, it slows time down. No, it doesn’t give you slow motion abilities like Neo from the Matrix, but it does make make each moment you speak with someone last longer and filled with more quality time. It makes the moments with the special people in your life more meaningful. It makes you appreciate that moment of time, just purely being in the present, with no past or future. Like a camera, it creates a chemical reaction that burns that moment in your eye, making it forever memorable. The memories of those moments become more vivid and treasured. This ability to slow down time is a precious gift, one that can only be experienced through the present moment. It encourages us to savor each moment, to cherish the people we love, and to make the most of every experience. It helps us to appreciate the beauty of life and the importance of the relationships we have with others. It’s a reminder to live in the moment and make the most of every second we have.

You’re life will indeed change when you make better eye contact

3. Establish trust and builds respect

Eye contact has been traditionally used to signal the other person that you can be trusted and that you respect them. It creates a sense of rapport and establishes a deeper connection.

On another note, the eyes can may also expose a conspicuous statement or mis-truth when shifted away suspiciously — an added detail that can only be assessed face to face.

4. Improve your conversation and understanding

The eye famously says a lot about one’s emotions and feelings, so it’s important to let the subtle emotions and micro-expressions shine through in conversation. This is one of the many things that a text conversation cannot express, no matter how many emojis you use. 😳

5. Better remember what the other is saying

Finally, making relaxed yet confident eye contact can help you remember what the other person said. Whether it’s a fact, a quote, or even just their name, eye contact can help lock in that connection and improve your memory.

Conclusion

With today’s increase in screen-use and virtual meetings, eye contact has been losing its power in proper communication. By following these tips for better eye contact in conversation, you can improve your rapport, confidence, and communication abilities. Eye contact also will open your eyes to greater intimacy.

So, next time you’re engaged in a conversation, remember the power of eye contact and the benefits it can bring to the relationships in your life, personal and professional.

I hope this helps and inspires you to make better eye contact and further enhances the conversations in your life!

Bonus Tips

Proper body language: Having your body facing the person you are talking to. This shows you are actual listening to them.
Properly giving attention: The 3 second rule of shifting eye contact among multiple people, or momentary breaks of eye contact when talking with one person.
When speaking with one person, take a break after 4–5 seconds. When you do take a break, do it slowly as if speaking to another person.
Don’t look down as the other person might see that as a lack of confidence.
When public speaking it’s best to constantly make general and specific eye contact across the room and audience.
Not staring: There are multiple styles to eye contact too, such as only giving eye contact when you want to make a notable point or to provide greater influence in conversation, but generally it’s good to have a balance of eye contact in a conversation (from eye to eye, to shifting your gaze elsewhere, in thought or in break). The usual rule is to have eye contact 50% of the time while speaking, and 70% of the time while listening.

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Originally published March 30, 2023

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